I only have eyes for you.

My husband knows that I love him; he's the only one for me. How can he be sure? For starters, I tell him all the time. But more than that - I show him. I want to be sure that my actions and my attitudes let him (and the rest of the world) know that I only have eyes for him.

How about you?

A Slow Decline...part 2

I was talking with a woman who is about twenty years my senior. When she told me that she was leaving to vacation with her husband in Paris I told her that she was so blessed to be taking such a romantic trip with her beloved, far away from distractions of everyday life. She literally laughed out loud and told me that I was still young and had a lot to learn. When I reminded her that I had 14 years of marriage under my belt she replied, "Oh yea, well just give it a few more years." My heart was saddened. She bought into the lie that marriage is at its best during the honeymoon and then it begins a slow and dreadful decline. This seems to be the consensus among the general population. I suppose that anything left unattended will decline - marriage is no different.
Let's explore this topic together.

Looking back...

I logged in to my face book account this morning and saw this status update from one year ago today:

Parenting is not for wimps my friends. Changing diapers, cleaning messes, catching bugs for a science project, and carpooling are the easy things. The real test comes when you must look into the face of your teary-eyed child, recognize his genuine repentance, and still enforce the consequence. The phrase "this hurts me more than it hurts you" doesn't just apply to spankings. Making a man out of a boy is no easy task.

 

Thinking back to the specific situation we were dealing with on the day that I posted that I still feel that little pinch in my chest. You know, that ache that comes with knowing that our children will sometimes experience pain and regret. The good news is that genuine repentance was present. The tough news is that we still had to enforce the consequence...and it made this momma cry. He was truly sorry but we had to reinforce the fact that sin has consequences. Mercy abounds, forgiveness is freely available, and we can face the consequences together through His grace. Discipling children is a divine calling - a sacred responsibility. When done well - raising our children will cost us something. Have you counted the cost?

The Pedestal Predicament Part 2

Chances are you've done it. You noticed the life of another woman and admired her. She seemed to have it all together. She had a thriving marriage, great kids, and seemed to be successful at every turn. You wanted to be like her, then maybe you too would have the contentment and joy that seemed to fill her heart. One day you came to the conclusion that if you could be like Mrs. X you could finally be happy. In your mind you placed Mrs. X on a pedestal. What's so dangerous about that? Well...actually, a few things...

 

Squash Casserole

This recipe is anything but fast and healthy. You'll have to invest a little effort into preparing this dish and a whole lot of effort into working it off. Trust me, it will be worth it.

Slice 4-5 medium yellow squash into circles. Combine with 1 coarsely chopped small yellow onion and bring to a boil with 1 tablespoon salt. Cover and boil about 20 minutes or until tender. Meanwhile, combine the following in a large bowl:

1 cup heavy whipping cream
3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 sleeve of Ritz crackers, crushed
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
two pinches cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon thyme

Drain squash and onion well and combine with mixture in bowl. Pour mixture into casserole dish (9x13 works well) sprinkle top with additional 1/2 sleeve of crushed Ritz and 1/3 cup shredded sharp cheddar. Cover with foil and bake at 350 until set (about 30 mins). Remove foil and cook for 10 minutes longer.

I tweaked the recipe several times and finally settled on this version. I've been making it for about 10 years. The recipe is fairly forgiving, play around with it and make it your own. I get lots of requests for this one, it's a real crowd pleaser.

A Slow Decline

I'll explain my reason for asking this question later...

Why do most people assume that marriage gets worse as the years go by?

I'm interested to hear your feedback then I'll tell you the story and give you my take on the issue.

You are not defenseless.

¹ I love you, LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

Life isn't fair and that's OK. People will hurt and disappoint you. People will betray you. They may misunderstand you or they may twist something you said or did in an effort to hurt you. People may attack you with malicious intent or may wound you because of carelessness (never realizing the hurt they inflicted). The truth is that we have all been on both sides. We've been the offender and we've been the one to suffer. When you're hurt remember this: God loves you. He alone is your defender, don't try to help Him out - He's got it under control. If you are in Him, He is your stronghold. He uses even our suffering to accomplish His purpose. Not only does He love you - He loves the one who wronged you.