Chances are you've done it. You noticed the life of another woman and admired her. She seemed to have it all together. She had a thriving marriage, great kids, and seemed to be successful at every turn. You wanted to be like her, then maybe you too would have the contentment and joy that seemed to fill her heart. One day you came to the conclusion that if you could be like Mrs. X you could finally be happy. In your mind you placed Mrs. X on a pedestal. What's so dangerous about that? Well...actually, a few things...
The first predicament that I see with this is that the pedestal creates distance between you and that woman. You put her so high up there, that you have built a fortress around her to protect your "ideal woman", and therefore you will never have a truly close relationship. The second predicament, that I see, is one in which you strive so hard for perfection that you miss out on all of the struggles in life that teach us things like compassion and understanding, patience and kindness, tolerance and hope. Life is sloppy. Marriage is not pearls and highheels, although dressing up shows commitment to the visual needs of each other and boosts self confidence, but...some days you will be elbow deep in the muck of an explosive diaper, and the toilet that was clogged by a dogbone and flooded a very smelly lake in you bathroom. If you think other women don't have those kinda days...you are wrong. By recognizing that there are other Women out there that have your kinda days, you feel a sense of belonging to a unique breed, a club, if you will. By keeping every woman out there down on your level, instead of placing her high on that pedestal then you protect the idea that we are all the same, part of a club, fighting the good fights elbow-to-elbow with each other through thick and thin. And finally, you protect her from "falling" in your eyes. I see it all the time, women who idolize their mothers and think they did no wrong...or that they had the perfect marriage. I make mistakes all the time, I make poor choices, but I always try my best, and when I mess up....I allow my kids to see how I was able to rise from it. I just hope that other women see that I don't belong so far off the ground either! ~Lynn Vicent
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